before you: a letter to my bad habits.
I am so burnt out, man. Why is this happening to me? I used to be someone with so much focus, and now it feels like it's all slipping away just when I need it the most. I won't let myself slip any further. That’s decided. First, I’m going cold turkey for a week. Why a week? Because that way, maybe I’ll resist the urge to delete the app and dive back into that hell. Yes, I’m ashamed. But it is what it is. I have to accept who I’ve become if I want to turn into who I want to be.
Now, I already have a maintained monthly page for September in my bullet journal. But I only track the good habits there—the ones I want to achieve. What about the habits I want to cut off? Tracking is the first step to improve at anything. So, I’m thinking of adding a 7-day "habits to avoid" tracker to my weekly page. For now, here are the habits I’m hoping to cut off:
1. Mindless media consumption
Cut to zero. No visual media for a week. Reading blogs, newsletters, and Hacker News is okay. Nothing more.
2. Staying awake after 12 a.m.
Aim to go to bed by 11:45 p.m. sharp. For years, I’ve been trying to wake up early (which I can easily do), but what I lack is a proper bedtime. That’s why I get headaches during the day.
3. Dehydration
*Very important.* I’ve been neglecting my health a lot these past 1-2 years. A major part of my headaches comes from being dehydrated. I am aware of the "why" part here. I drink water only during meals, which I know is a terrible habit. So, for 7 days, I’ll drink 2 glasses of water first thing in the morning and 1 glass between deep work cycles (40min deep work - 10min rest).
4. No movement
Since I’ve been job hunting, I’ve had zero physical activity except for cleaning my home. I feel cramps all over my body every morning when I wake up, and again every night before bed. So, the next thing is to do a workout or warm-up (if I don’t feel like a full workout) at 6:30–7 p.m.
5. Off-screen breaks
*Again, very important.* I seriously need to go w/o my laptop/phone for at least 30 minutes during the day. I’ll read books that are resting on my shelf during this time. I’ll also make sure to put any tech devices in another room.
To all my bad habits, I just want to say: "Before you destroy me, I’m destroying you. I’m prioritizing myself, my mental and physical health, before you."